So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
