are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
