matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
His nipple licking is glorious
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