So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
do nipples grow back?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
