Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
