farters have to be the big spoon...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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