Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
