if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
pop tarts are not kleenex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
