it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
