Kiss
Puke
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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