And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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