garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
