You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
