my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
