We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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