just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
