a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
