There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
