ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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