Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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