so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize