Dual....:-)
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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