so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
