I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
