Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize