Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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