i don't like sucking hair
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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