That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
