You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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