Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
