I just cut my nipple shaving
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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