I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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