please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
