Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We need to rekindle our bromance
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
