I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
