remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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