honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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