oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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