I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
should my penis look like a turkey
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
