Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
