Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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