where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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