When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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