And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
