Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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