the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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