Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
