She's JV to your varsity
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
