I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
