There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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