I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
