You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can't turn off my feet"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
