You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
