dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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