giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
