I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize