office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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