you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
