I never want to see another naked old woman again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize