I'm jealous of your bromance
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
