I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm passing your future prison.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
