You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im about as happy as oj after his trial
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
