If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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